Welcome to my writing corner

Some friends have expressed interest in reading my writing, so I decided to share a few things here. I’ll slowly add poetry and stories both old and new. This is a bold move for me, since I’m rather shy about sharing my written works. I’ll share a combination of things here, including some fan fiction as well as bits of my original works. Basically, I just write what inspires me. Sometimes a poem or lyrics are inspired by my life, sometimes by the lives of those I know, and sometimes they’re inspired by a fictional character that I’m writing, or even reading about. Whatever the inspiration, when the words come I have to write them down or they’ll circle my brain incessantly and pester me until I record them. You can read down this home page or click on the links directly to see either poems or stories in their own sections. I’ve updated with some of my older works and was sure to note the oldies by date.

I’ve also added a subscribe option for anyone who might want to be alerted when I add new works. I appreciate all who subscribe, thanks so much! Either way, I hope you’ll leave a short comment on anything you may like, if you feel so inclined. Thanks for dropping by!

Khanada Marlene

(Photograph of me taken by my friend Hawke Robinson, also knows as Synthetic Zen.)

Two Realities

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

Soul and body
Can the two be different?
One is real, the other a dream
A life on the inside
A life on the out

Circumstance and choices
Painting different realities
Years of manifestation
This life in the physical
No chances, always separates us

You and me
Honesty from the heart
Peaceful on my own
Cold, empty infatuation
That world is not where I belong

Here and there
Do you know me, only there?
Here you tell me, ‘no’
Only love on the inside
No love on the out

Asleep and Awake
You hold so tightly to me
But my very soul is filled with doubt
I don’t call to you anymore
We are forever disconnected

Then and Now
From a miraculous connection
Soul to soul, deep interaction
To a forced and bleak rejection
I am no one to you

Is it possible for a soul, outside of the body, to be a different person than who they are in the body? Perhaps years of physical manifestation can alter the true astral self, eventually changing the soul to match the body. Life and circumstances, and how they choose to present themselves in everyday life, being different from who they are without their body while astral projecting?

Personally, I don’t feel like my in-body self is different from my astral self. At the very core, I am the same, though I have learned lessons in life that have informed my soul and its drives, motives, and reactions while in the astral plane. This poem explores these ideas when related to a hypothetical relationship that cannot reconcile between worlds, where one person has remained true to their core soul, while the other person involved abandons the connection between their astral and physical selves. You may recognize this theme repeated in my poetry and writing. Inspirations coming from a combination of actual personal experiences, experiences of others I know, and fictional characters I am playing with.

I Am Real

Poem/Lyrics by Khanada Marlene

I am real
I know that you can’t see me
Can’t hear what I have to say
I’m a hollow shell
With no form
I take up no space

But I am real!
I think and I feel
I break and I reel
I am real
I am real

I am real
Nothing ever holds me
And nothing ever blocks my way
I am mist, only vapor
Not material
And I affect no matter

But I am real!
I think and I feel
I break and I reel
I am real
I am real

I am real
I scream into the blackness
Shaking and then fainting
I, a spectral ghoul
I wish you no harm
Please don’t hate me

No harm, No demon here
No witness, For you to fear

But I am real!
I think and I feel
I break and I reel
I am real
I am, real….

No Meaning

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

I don’t see you much anymore
Nights are quiet
Days devoid of your energy

Last night a little tryst, I let it happen
Didn’t fight, no question
After, we walked the shops together

You held me so tightly to you
But you were distant
I was not sure of myself, or of us

Your voice was held hostage
I wanted to help you
But your freedoms were locked up tight

I bought an imperfect gift for your love
You told me to clean it
So, I soaked it with water to purge

My sleep was restless and broken
I woke several times
Then fell back into dreams

As I came awake, I was not filled with joy
I felt no relief
There was only sadness, for it held no meaning

A House, Haunted

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

This house, more than once a home
Now dilapidated and abandoned
No love and no cheerful voices sing
Lonely paths converge at its steps
It calls to me and I ascend

Bleak windows, glowing like eyes
Watching my every move
Searing my soul like judgements
Flitting shapes and shadows
Stop and turn to me

This new plaything, ignorantly enters

Lost in shadows
Ebony fingers stretch
To touch a fearful soul
Wandering endless hallways
Each door opens into blackness

Shall I shrink away, or burst forth?

Stairways, wide and twisting
Disappear into inky depths
Unknown recesses, calling out
Voices ahead, or in my head?
Gather my courage and descend

Is that a face in the wood grain?
Piano keys sit still and untouched
Faces watch, all covered in dust
Creature comforts mold and rust
Heavy air weighs down my soul

Trapped by this blackness, kept

This house, once bright and grand
now a relic, an archive wasted
barely a memory, only as a stain
no home to the living
unresting place of the dead

This Little Ghost

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

This ghost
Wanders from house to house
Each night finding new rooms
Each day, slipping away

Little ghost
Flitting between worlds
Making mischief
Causing bodies to tremble

This ghost
Just a soul without form
No need for a home
She belongs everywhere

Little ghost
Awaits no invitation
Every world is her’s
All places her shelter

This ghost
Fearless and radiant
Disconnected from heart
With no past and no future

Little ghost
Nocturnal by nature
Dreaming through her days
Awakens as the sun goes down

This little ghost
Will shed her body
In that moment of release
She will fade away…

No Heart to Break

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

You only see me when you close your eyes
I don’t exist in the world outside
I’m a phantom
I’m a wraith
I disappear as you come awake
One little soul without a form
No flesh and blood to keep me warm
Just a phantom
This ghostly shape
All on my own, haunting your sleep
Sometimes I call you and others I don’t
Sometimes I fly away and
Others I won’t
I am just vapor
This girl is not real
With no heart to break
And no pain to feel
Only a phantom
Only a wraith
I disappear as you come awake…

Image of me created with ReFace app.

The Unhinged

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

Bitter winds tear at our trees
Our minds ensnared by prickly vines and shattered glass
Truth is bastardized for sensation
Dark inroads break reason into endless pieces
Insanity, the comfortable cloud we lay upon
Doesn’t matter if we’re wrong
Doesn’t matter if we’re destroying it all
We cling to security behind our stone fortress
That fortress we built to hide our insecurities
So terrified of weakness
We must be right, even if we’re wrong
Addicted to anguish
Dependent in fear
Driven by hate and violence
Those words, do they match our sentiments?
Just words, we give them weight
Meaningless madness fills our void
Empty anger fuels our rage
Talking heads, painting our world black
For power, for greed, manipulating the masses
No justice, no recourse, no consequences
We’ve done this to ourselves
This is the fruition of our blind trust
The sickness and the death of our souls
Forsaken peace and happiness for this place
Where love is weakness, joy is laziness, safety is illusion
And all of it, for the misguided passion of lies.

Wisdom is Freedom

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

In youth you take chances
Daring life to give you what you want
You cross lines
With innocence, you reach out
To grasp love and cherish soul

As you mature, you push it further
Speak your mind and open your heart
Break those chains
Sacrifice respect and pride
But with no response, you abandon all

With wisdom of age, you revisit
So much forgotten, returns
It’s a process
Reliving the love, the hope, the hurt
No answers, you find no resolution

The future is already set
Even when it shifts and changes
It stays the same
Waiting is no longer an option
Acceptance is the realization

You are awake now, and you are free…

Seesaw

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

Up and down I go
I laugh and wonder why
He makes me feel so special
Then, leaves me high and dry

Destiny or mishap
I did it to myself
Called out to find true love
Left languishing on this shelf

In and out I fall
Is it love or just illusion?
Why can’t we just let go,
Of this ebb and flow delusion?

It’s fate’s cruel trap
Like a clock goes round and round
Over and over again
From drought and then to drown

Up and down I go
Like a seesaw childish game
Spread my wings to fly away?
Or stay and take the blame?

Strangest of Them All

A Poem by Khanada Marlene

Why do you call me back?
Why did you reach out again?
If you never will connect
We can never hope to begin

I know it’s not hello
You won’t meet me halfway
Every chance was laid before you
But you always turned away

No matter how I feel
No matter what you say
We are separated by life
How can we have our day?

I have dared, and dared again
Crushed by years of separation
Now I shrink from such impulses
Can’t face another rejection

This heart is not stone
This soul’s not made of ice
I am more than just a phantom
Should be more than just your vice

I know your soul so well
But I don’t know you at all
All others feel like strangers
But you are strangest of them all